It's Friday and it's the day before my 27th weigh in. I've been at this for almost 7 months. I'm not complaining about that part of it at all. I'm grateful that I have learned that I can eat to live and still be a cook. I love to bake desserts. I love to create fantastic meals whether they are exotic, old school, fresh or rich. I am trying to figure out how to make dishes low carb and somewhat low fat but still have lots of flavor. I'm trying to avoid any and all added sugar. So far, so good. I don't miss starchy foods at all and I'm even cool not having wine or any other form of alcohol for these past 27 weeks.
What's killing me today is that after a couple of days of finally hitting what has been the lowest weight (my barrier has been 152) I finally started hovering around 151. I was in shock that I was slowly coming down and getting closer to 150. But then..... sure enough, my weight decided to go back up and I'm back to 152 yet AGAIN.
I ate hamburger two days ago plus some slices of pickle which always make me retain water/gain. I figured that out after I saw a 1.1 lb gain overnight. I was okay because I assumed this morning I would be down to my lower weight again. Well.... I have lost .6 of it as of this morning. I really expected all of it to be gone but I guess I shouldn't complain. I have managed to get rid of a little more than half of the gain. And yet I want to complain. I'm tired of yo-yoing back and forth. I'm tired of being less than 10 lbs from my goal but not having the scale go down these past 2 months.
I'm burning out. I can sense it. But the odd thing is that I'm not wanting to start eating all the bad foods again. Far from it. I want to continue to eat low carb forever. I was to include some paleo too. I'm excited about the future in terms of my cooking style. I can't wait to try more things and start full out exercising.
The main problem.... my body fat is still too high for my liking. I'm not even in the 29% range yet. I want to be 27% at the highest and work toward 23%. My TOM affects body fat so much that I jump up to 32% and it makes any reading of my actual weight and BF impossible. I have been having 10-21 day periods too so it's been virtually impossible to get a clear reading more than 2x a month on the body fat. I'm ready to wage an all out war with my body because this seems ridiculous that my hormones would affect my success. But it does and I have to learn to be patient. I'm seeing others who started after me already finishing their phase 1 part of the plan and I'm still sitting here doing NOTHING but yoyo-ing. I'm so ticked off.
I'll be okay.... I just needed to whine and gripe about this. I know I don't eat 100% clean. I have permission to eat a little bacon and to add coconut milk to my coffee. Maybe that's finally affecting it. I don't know for sure. I'm going to try to avoid some of these extras this week and see what it does. I'll also eat a LOT of lettuce and greens to see if it helps at all.
I just want to move on to phase 2. So I'm putting that out there into the universe. I'm telling my body to let go of the body fat so I can go on and live my life as a phase 4 IP graduate. Please body..... let go of these last 6-10 lbs of fat that are so stubbornly holding on? Please??????
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